How to plan a wedding ceremony that actually feels like you

You’re engaged – woohoo congrats! So, what now? Once the initial “omg we’re getting married” high settles and you’ve locked in a date and venue, the real planning begins. You start to check out vendors for your day, including photographer, celebrant, DJ and florist, just to name a few.

Usually, the first thought is the party (and as a DJ, I totally get that). But before the dance floor kicks off, there’s the small matter of actually getting legally married, which you’ll need an registered marriage celebrant for. The wedding directory Ivory Tribe has put together a great blog post that goes through exactly this. Read the full post or scroll down for a summary!

As a celebrant, my goal is to make sure your ceremony is authentic to the two of you. Keep any traditions that are important to you, and throw out the rest. Here’s how we plan one that’s personal, relaxed, and just “you.”

It’s your story, not a script

Your ceremony should reflect exactly who you are as a couple. A good celebrant doesn’t just read from a folder, they work with you to capture your specific vibe in the lead up to your big day. Whether you want it short and punchy, sentimental and teary, or filled with laughs, it should feel like a conversation with an old friend, not a presentation at a corporate retreat.

Pick the moments that matter to you

One of the biggest misconceptions about weddings is that you have to do things a certain way.

• Don’t want to walk down a traditional aisle? Don’t.

• Want to walk in together? Love it.

• Want to skip the personal vows? Done.

• Want to sign the certificates at the bar with a drink in your hand after the ceremony is done? Let’s go!

The best tip I can give is to look at every element of a traditional ceremony and ask: “Is this meaningful to us?” If the answer is no, we cut it. It’s about what you want, not what tradition dictates.

Of course, there are a couple of legal things that need to be done during the ceremony, but the rest is honestly up to you guys.

The “behind the scenes” stuff

A lot of what makes a ceremony tick happens before your wedding day. When we work together, we’ll have chats – (in person over a drink or two) or via video – and I’ll get to know yo better and have you to fill out some (actually quite fun) questionnaires along the way. This helps me find the little nuggets of your relationship that make for a great story.

I’ll handle the legal heavy lifting and the paperwork, so you can just focus on showing up, looking good, and having a ball.

If the ceremony is engaging, fun and authentic to you, your guests will be buzzing and excited for what’s to come next.

My job on the day as your celebrant

On the day, my role as celebrant is to marry you but also coordinate. I’ll be there well before the guests arrive, setting up a high-quality, battery powered speaker (the perks of being a DJ and celebrant is that I really care about the sound quality).

I’ll also work with with your venue, photographer and other key suppliers (such as acoustic artists) to ensure that everyone knows what’s happening and when.

Your ceremony sets the tone for what’s to come

The ceremony sets the tone for the rest of your wedding day. If the ceremony is stiff, it takes a while for the energy to pick up at the reception. If the ceremony is engaging, fun and authentic to you, your guests will be buzzing and excited for what’s to come next.

My partner Aleks (also a celebrant, and MC, as it happens) and I have also spoken about the most commonly asked questions about wedding ceremonies in our podcast that you can check out, Project Engaged.

Want a celebrant who will help you plan a ceremony that authentically represents you?

Check my availability and let’s chat about making it happen!